Thought you'd always be mine.

I don’t want to be forever alone. I’m so terrified of it that i’ll be with most anyone that I think really accepts me for me. But it’s terrible; I zone out when people talk to me, I feel alone constantly, and end up doing all kinds of things for attention and affection…but it the end i’m an empty shell. Enthusiasm and real interest in everyday life seems like a charade to me.

Another day, normally.

What a day! Rad hangs with rad dudes. 


Although I was being my normal, witty, 'not the guy you'd be proud to introduce to your friends' kinda guy I am, I also thought WAY too much.


"I needed a volunteer— Special delivery— Something to think on until the the serious goods get a green light and the launch codes clear."


I wondered how people could be friends with me. Or at least think I'm sane in a matter or two. 

Safe little house, safe little friends, safe little thoughts to keep you safe,

from all those big, bad wolves that eat you up.

Safe in your room, safe as a tomb,

sleep in a coffin made of glass;

It takes a big facade to hide the cracks.

Can we make this last, ‘cause now I’m not so sure…

Are you up to the task? Sometimes the sickness is the cure…

You’re searching so hard, you’ve lost yourself.

Does it help you to pray as you’re wasting away like a silver screen cliche’,

after all we’re actors on a stage…

Would it help you to wait for the moment to break,

is it real or is it fake?

All we are, just chapters on a page,

and after all we’re actors on a stage…

NickyThins 20/3/11

Part 1.2

Now, I was told to update this. So i'm not giving you solid update because if i were i'd be talking about something different, which I won't be.

I've transferred my lounge room into 2001. I'm listening to college rock..

Playing guitar to college rock*

Stop.

It has a tick tock rhythm, writing about the place that some quick romance said, hoping for something else.

Hold it.

You thought i was getting all psychological on you didn't you?

Well, guess what?

BOOM!





I'm not. Goodbye.

Part I

Sitting at home. Nothing new, nothing old. 


Year 12 is spiraling out of control, not as in I'm failing or doing poorly, but the work from this senior year is crazy. Walked into class today to get given a SAC (school assessed coursework) without warning. That kinda sucked. Luckily because i'm the laid-back dude I am, i handled it quite well, with 2 fruit boxes and Angry Birds, I think i was pretty calm about it all. 


I finally have shows this weekend too! Wooooooooooo! I'm kinda excited, got my regular little dudes at Nexus Youth Center, which will be rather fun, always is. Then a lovely 21st birthday including White Trash Candy.It will be a big night! But, i'm also nervous coming back from such a huge break over Christmas and the new year.


Anyway , to what's important, me shutting up. I'm heading to work, and to hang out with rad dudes. I have Four Year Strong giving me a personal performance via my iPhone. 


Goodbye for now. 
22/02/2011
Nicky Thins.

The Beginning.

Well here I am. Being a new blogger. Except, i'm not one of those wise philosopher dudes who just tell us all in 800 words about how he had a Milo for breakfast. I'm here to write what i want, when i want, and that's it all in fine detail. 


Moving back to Mum's is still weird, I've gone from my 3.5 meter x 4 meter room to my old cosy 1.8 x 2.5 meter room. It's in all good causes though. I need the support, i need the intimacy and closeness of my family to help me get 'back on the rails' as Mum has explained it. She thinks I'm starting to waste my youth, as if I'm waiting for something that will give me that little bit more, so i don't become one of those cheap shots who never has a stable home. Wise woman, she should blog. 


So here it is, my humble abode of thoughts, experiences and emotions thrown at you like rocks to a douche bag. 


Bye for now.
13/11/2011
nickythins.